Welcome back to Tuff Love with Rob Kandell. The guest on the show today is Deborah Kagan and she’s talking about the concept of mojo. Rob loves having experts on the show because they always help him learn something new. Deborah helps women conquer self-doubt and indecision to step into their full power, love who they are and live a turned on life. Although she primary serves women but the information is not gender specific.
With the rise of feminism, women have lost touch with their mojo because it lives in our bodies as opposed to being up in their heads. Deborah got into this work from a complete disassociation from her mojo. She grew up in a house of domestic violence and her first sexual experience was rape. Disassociation from her body was what followed, as is common following trauma. She is here today to share that it is absolutely 100% possible to connect back to your mojo regardless of what you’ve gone through.
Here’s what Deborah and Rob explore in this episode:
- Mojo in itself is an interesting word in terms fo etymology. The exact roots are not known but it is believed to come from Africa. The word itself means your personal magnetism. It’s the thing that is invisible about all of us and the stuff that people feel before we ever open our mouths.
- The word mojo can be interchanged with life-force. Some people call it chi or qi or ki or prana.
- Mojo is a good four letter word. There are four pillars to activating your mojo, and the word can also be an acronym for that: Mindset, Oracle, Joining (of life roles) and Oasis (environment) . As long as you are connected to these four pillars, no matter what is going on in life, you will always be able to access your mojo.
- When you disassociate from your body, you cannot access your mojo because you do not want to be in this vehicle of your body. You don’t feel confident or strong.
- The first pillar is M = Mindset. The way we’re thinking. Especially in the 21st Century, we are bombarded with messages and information. It’s crucial to find out what is true for you and what supports a mojo-licious mindset. We need to get our mind aligned with where we’re going as opposed to where we’re from.
- The second pillar is O = Oracle. This is our life below the neck, our body. Our body knows, it has all the information, it is an oracle.
- In martial arts, they talk about the dan tien which is the power center, the area from the belly button to the public bone, from the front to the back of the body. Some people call it 2nd It’s the seat of your mojo and it’s where life force lives in our bodies. It’s also where women create human beings, which is mindblowing.
- Understanding where the mojo lives in your body and having a connection with this space allows you to turn up the volume, tune in to your mojo and be the DJ of your life. It pulls your attention down into your body so you have more presence, more mojo, more magnetism.
- We’re all born with this magnetism, but life happens. Some people have more experiences that create bigger kinks, and others have smaller ones.
- Many men go into their heads and have very masculine wiring. They can learn, however, to get more into their body and create more of that presence.
- The third pillar is J = Joining of the roles we play in life. Most people have two strong roles: personal and professional. But there’s maybe an artist side of them, a yogi side of them, a diva side of them, a rockstar side of them, a sassy/sexy side of them. But they shove them all aside because they have to go to work. And then when they come home, they never really leave work mode, which leads to pain, frustration and a sense of something missing.
- The role play piece is about getting connected to the totality of who you are. We want to learn to be able to shift between the roles. It requires a shift of consciousness, usually outfit (get signature outfits for each role!) and to be clear about the strength of the role.
- You have to give yourself permission to express those different sides of yourself. A lot of women are challenged by letting out the sexy, sensual side for various reasons, and there isn’t a lot of permission in society for women to be expressive in that area.
- The final pillar is O = Oasis, which is your environment. The home, the office, the cars. It’s crucial that we set up our spaces to support where we’re going as opposed to where we’ve been. There’s an opportunity for our environment to fuel us, to fill us, to give us additional mojo, so we can be less stressed and more engaged.
- When they’re integrated, that’s where the most power comes from. If you look at this and think about standing in the center of a square, and the four pillars are at each corner. It’s about what you would like to choose to work on at that moment in time.
- You make life into a practice. Don’t feel overwhelmed, just pick one of the four pillars to increase more flow, more mojo. Wherever you are, there you are. The mojo work is about who you are being.
- Your confidence, your ability to connect with people, your ability to create what it is you desire in life and your ability to move through the tough moments. It all becomes easier.
Rob and Deborah coach Sofia. She’s looking for integration of the all four pillars of mojo. She’s feeling a little bit of intimidation at the waking up of her mojo:
- Sofia is a relationship coach and would like to have a thriving practice. She feels like she’s not closing clients or meeting the right people to become clients.
- Deborah suggests that over the next month, the Oracle piece will be the biggest piece for Sofia, as well as bringing out a role. There will be a deepening of her tapping into that oracle power center. Watch the 2nd video in the free video series that will teach you how to ignite that power center. Deborah recommends doing the exercise every morning.
- It’s normal to get a bit stuck in your head when you’re talking about your business, especially when starting out. Training yourself to anchor in the feeling of presence, the mojo, when speaking about business will alter the way people respond.
- Deborah recommends naming each different role. The role of Sofia as a relationship coach needs a name, as well as the marketing role. Deborah’s roles include CEO of Mojo Central, D-Rock and Bella.
- Figure out the signature outfits for your different roles. When you start to hone in on that, it helps give the physicality to the role and allows you to bring more of her forward with a visual.
- Every role has a particular strength. We’re all good at a lot of stuff. Find out what the one particular thing is that each role is really amazing at. When you know that, you will recognize when different strengths are useful in different situations and you can float between roles more easily.
- When you are connecting with people to get them on the phone or email them, set up a time straight away for that phone conversation. It will change the number of conversations you will have, and it will inspire them with your confidence.
- Rob suggests that Sofia also gently call people out when they are resisting setting up a time to meet. People want change but they resist it as well. If you’re going to show them that you can kick their ass in a loving way, then you can start with that initial conversation.
- Getting very rooted and grounded in your power center, and aligning more with your own masculine energy when having those difficult conversations with the dominant male personality types. Then you will be able to match that energy.
- Rob sees it as the male dominant personality is testing Sofia to see how she can handle them, and they want to be handled.
- Sofia feels very exposed carrying this amount of electricity in her body while she is out in the world, and she believes it might be intimidating for people, and yet without it she doesn’t feel capable. She’s afraid of having that amount of sensation in her body without having anywhere to put it.
- Deborah suggests that it’s about the cycling and regeneration of the energy, rather than having to put it somewhere. What Sofia is dealing with is true mojo, and it is powerful and electric and feels amazing. However, most people are not vibrating in that space. There’s a beautiful power that comes with the capability to generate and cycle that energy where it’s as if you’re wearing this invisible cloak out in the world. You’re still feeling it, it’s all there, you’re in the flow of it, and then in the appropriate moments you can take off that energetic cloak and put it where it will be reciprocated or received.
- Rob explains that when Sofia starts to integrate that, it will bring her all that she’s looking for. But when she minimizes it and is not in agreement with it, the universe won’t show up with things. The world needs more of it and it will inspire people around her.
Find out more from Deborah
If you want to find out more from Deborah, go to her website http://www.deborah-kagan.com/
Sign up for the free video training that takes you through the four pillars of mojo. Twice a year Deborah runs the Rock Your Mojo women’s weekend in Los Angeles, and more information about that is on the website. You can also find her on social media.
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