083: Unleash your Inner Dominatrix w/ Dana Pharant

In Guest Star, Money/Business, Podcast, Relationship by Robert KandellLeave a Comment

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Welcome back to Tuff Love with Rob Kandell. Every week at Tuff Love Rob talks about what needs to be talked about, the issues, how to improve your life, social media, relationship types, communications, business etc. Today’s guest, Dana Pharant, has experience in a world Rob doesn’t, and that’s the dominatrix world. He’s always had a bit of a dominatrix fetish fantasy. Having known quite a few in his life, Rob knows they’re always very interesting, amazing people.

How to find Dana
Facebook: @Powernatrix
Twitter @danapharant
Instagram: @danapharant
Linked-In: @danapharant
Youtube @DanaPharantPowernatrix
Website: danapharant.com

Dana’s Bio
Dana is a master healer, life strategist, published author, Number 1 Amazon author, past CEO of a near 7-figure business and former dominatrix. She is currently a transformational coach who uses her dynamic tools for rapid change, kick ass energy and ability to perceive, pinpoint and pop the problem limited your body and business while having fun.

Together Rob and Dana discuss:

  • A definition of dominatrix and what it means to her
  • Why most people misinterpret and misunderstand what dominatrix means
  • How a dominatrix helps transform people and relieve the pressures of day to day life so they can feel grounded and reconnected
  • Dana’s journey from a cult to submissive to dominatrix
  • How the submissive side of it helped Dana heal her trauma
  • How to get to a space of being strong enough in the energy of a Dom to be able to hold the space for the Submissive to let go
  • The concept of surrender and how Dana coaches people on this
  • The importance of the set up and negotiation phase to build trust from the very beginning
  • Why we have to coax surrender out of people and that most people don’t take the time to really set that up
  • Why this is a great translation for relationships of any kind
  • What the inner dominatrix is and what Dana does now
  • How she got pushed out of the kink world and why that was the push she needed to get into the energy work
  • The energy of who Dana had to become to step into the Dom role, and how that translates into business
  • Why presence is important in relationships and in business
  • People respond based on the energy of who we are, our presence, how we show up, far more than what we say
  • Dana’s primary stand is in the energy world and she first likes to get people connected to the idea of expanding your energy out.
  • When we’re stressed, most people pull their energy in thinking they are protecting themselves, but in fact it gives you less choice because you are restricted. If you expand out, you have more options to connect into infinite space, God, source energy and ultimately more resources.
  • Energy follows intention. Grabbing the energy out of your body that doesn’t serve you anymore is an important first step on the way to finding your inner dominatrix
  • If you’re not you know dangerous alley don’t pull your energy and push your energy out because you’ll be less attractive for people who want to assault you.
  • Dana’s process involves using questions. Imagine being a curious 5 year old. What would it feel like if I expanded out as big as the room? The world? The solar system?
  • There’s no accidents: Dana was using her energy and Zoom kicked her off.
  • Once you get yourself connected to what it feels like to be the size of infinite space, now you can notice how much more ease you have in your body. You don’t have this pressure on you body. Now the thing is to lock that in on a habit. Use a 30-minute reminder on your phone to practice doing it on a regular basis.
  • Some examples of results Dana has seen in her clients. One client stepped into her inner dominatrix and negotiated $500,000 more money in the sale of her business than she otherwise would have. Another took their business from $200,000 to $2,000,000.
  • The bigger you get, the bigger the problems. So we need to expand our mental-emotional bandwidth so that when those things come in we don’t get all caught up in it.
  • Sometimes it does take years and it does take practice and commitment to your energy.

Dana and Rob coach Nancy, who is feeling without anchors in her life at the moment. She doesn’t have a relationship, career or place to live.

  • Nancy feels she has been in control for the last 50 years. She has been looking for a person to hold her in that place so she can go out of control. However, she didn’t find that person and now is free-falling into the Universe.
  • Dana says, “when you talk about giving out to the universe energetically, it still feels like you are putting that outside of you.” The universe has this incredible resource but how do we make you the source.?How do we make you the one that you fall back on?
  • Imagine being able to grab just the programs and ideas of what you know is who you are. Pull out all those definitions of who you are, how you define yourself, how you’ve decided that you need something outside of you, whether it’s a universe or a person. Put it all in a big messy pile in front of you. Then blast it.
  • Energy is great, we can fuck it up and it will still work.
  • With that big pile out in front of you, you have a choice: are you willing to release and destroy it all? You get to say yes or no, because it’s you that is making the change. Ultimately it’s you that’s doing this.
  • So much of the time we forget to check in on whether what is going on with what we feel is even ours. Check in on what is yours and what is not.
  • A lie detector test within the body. Two questions: ‘Is your name Nancy?’ Compare that to ‘Are you a chipmunk?’
  • The name Nancy doesn’t fit so those questions don’t get the clear yes or no that is needed. Change it to ‘Sahira’ which is a name Nancy resonates more with.
  • Ask yourself, ‘does it belong to you, someone else or something else?’
  • Almost everybody goes to their logical brain and goes ‘I feel it in my brain so it must be mine.’ Get deeper into the body and check in on the sensation.
  • We have the ability to pick up on thoughts, feelings and emotions from people up to 33,000 miles away.
  • Get connected with what is authentically yours, and that’s what you can blast out. If it’s not actually yours, you can’t blast it out.
  • Nancy wants to feel the union of the good mom side of herself and the sexy witch part of herself. Using NLP, Dana helps her to integrate the two parts.
  • We compartmentalize ourselves and that’s dangerous because then we have limited resources.
  • It’s often difficult for us to be therapist and patient at the same time because you don’t surrender to yourself. That’s where when you work with somebody who can guide you through it, your only job is to be the patient (and be patient).
  • When doing self-help work, Dana advises to work on all the stuff that has an intensity level of 6 out of 10, and below. Anything above that, get some help.

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