Tuff Love: A Group Coaching Call w/ Rob Kandell

20160124_ItunesIt’s an interesting paradox. We all really want to know how we show in the world but we do everything we can to avoid it. Its like an itch we want to scratch but also tend to ignore. We create secret covert alliances with our friends, families, workmates and enemies for them to withhold the truth, to make things “nice” rather than real. In doing so, we never truly know what people think about us. For some, this is okay. Maybe not for you.

Every week, coach, entrepreneur and teacher Rob Kandell will leading a group experience where he will speak his heart-filled, intense, tuff love. He will (a) answer questions posted to this event and via chat, (b) speak his mind plainly on topics of interest, and (c) coach brave enthusiastic volunteers in a group setting. Honestly, we don’t know what’s going to happen.

Podcast Archive

069: Confronting Fear and Scarcity 04-20-2017
In the last two weeks, I've have the same conversation 5 times around a woman's vigilance center. The reaction to these conversations is fascinating. They either are relived, angry, frustrated or confused. Or a combination of all four. NEWS FL Read More

068: A Woman's Ego with Arielle Brown 04-13-2017
Last week's show, "A Man's Ego", was one of my favorite shows I've done. It was an edgy, uncomfortable, informative and carried a lot of sensation. I felt a LOT of wisdom came out. I immediately wanted to do a follow up show on a "Woman's Ego" Read More

067: A Man's Ego 04-06-2017
This week's is a little bit more intense than normal. We will be talking about the interesting and very tender topic of Men and their Ego's. This will NOT be either a male-bashing experience nor a softening of the truth. It will be, by my own exp Read More

066: Reigniting your Mojo with Deborah Kagan 03-30-2017
Deborah Kagan's title is "Mojo Recovery specialist". I LOVE that title because I think we all need a little spark some times. "Mojo" was originally defined as a charm or a spell. The urban dictionary has expanded the definition to include sex Read More

065: Superior Communication Techniques 03-23-2017
As a business consultant/Life-coach, I would say that 99% of the issues I work with people around concern f&*ked up communication. It continues to amaze me how poorly we are trained to both speak and listen. It's not your fault cause society ac Read More

064: How to Set & Keep Goals 03-16-2017
In January 2013, I was feeling out-of-shape. For an ex-fat kid, this sensation is akin to torture because every moment, every look in the mirror brings up young triggers. I had just migrated from SF to LA for the job and had the opportunity to se Read More

063: Coping with BETRAYAL 03-09-2017
I've recently had an experience where I've been betrayed by someone who I considered a close friend. The details aren't that important but I will discuss them briefly. We created a business together, it ended, and in our conversations as we e Read More

062: The Ever-Changing Identity 03-02-2017
The fascinating concept of your identity. We all know who we are right? Its pretty constant with some minor changes here and there. Right? I thought so too. After a deep journey last weekend, I am seeing parts of my identity that I don't even kno Read More

061: Attainable Perfection 02-23-2017
I once studied with a group in Northern California called More. I was a personal growth newbie at the time and their viewpoints, written by the late Dr. Victor Baranco, were quite revolutionary for me. One of them stayed with me: You are perfect Read More

060: How to Flirt 02-09-2017
Flirting is fun right? No matter your relationship status, we all like to flirt a little bit. Or a lot?? However, most of us never really learned how to flirt. We either are too nervous, excited or on the wrong energetic level. We tend to flir Read More

059: How to Bend Time 02-02-2017
I will brag for a moment... I can bend time. What does this mean? I have the ability to get an incredible amount of things done in a short period of time. When I am driving from one side of LA to the other, I use my tools to arrive and never be l Read More

058: Courageous Communication with Elizabeth DiAlto 01-26-2017
Simply put, Elizabeth DiAlto is amazing. I knew it the moment I sat down with her when we met and every interaction i've had with her has proven the point. She is a woman on a mission to enhance lives by discussing topics such as courageous commu Read More

057: Traveling? Me? Part 2/2 01-19-2017
Last week, my lady Morgan and I headed to Costa Rica for my first vacation in over two years. I was excited and nervous. However, there was a twist to this trip because I didn't really have a plan. It was going to be improvised. To some, this Read More

056: Traveling? Me? Part 1/2 01-05-2017
Tonight, I head to Costa Rica for 9 days. For most people, they would be ecstatic about this situation. For me, however, there is a certain uneasy feeling about it. I am not new to traveling. But normally, I have a distinctive reason and gam Read More

055: The Mystery of a Woman's Biology with Sheleana Aiyana 12-29-2016
FOR MORE INFORMATION: Visit http://kcons.co/Sheleana. I first met Sheleana in 2011. The only word I can think to describe her is powerful. She and her partner wowed us with her acumen around a variety of topics and all I could think was "she k Read More

054: Confronting Money 12-22-2016
Money. Just the word alone will probably bring some form of meaning, connotation, to you. It might be something you want desparately but can't have, fear of losing what you have, or it helps you feel powerful. Or... something. We all have a " Read More

053: Many Fish in the Sea 12-08-2016
I often speak to a member of a couple and inside their unhappiness is the feeling of fear. "What if I never find someone else? What if this is the best I can do" We live in a world of scarcity. It is part of the fabric of our society that ther Read More

052: The Foundation of Self-Love 12-01-2016
I am looking at my partner's face, touching her skin, and feeling deeper love with her than I ever thought possible. It feels like 'Disney Love', the kind that you only see in the movies. My cynical mind is perplexed. How is this possible? A s Read More

051: One Unit of Fear 11-17-2016
I posted this recently: >> I suggested a game for more intimacy. >> Client responds: "I feel overwhelmed in my life already" >> Me: "No... you feel overwhelmed by the fear in your life" >> Client: "........" >> Me: "I suspect that one unit Read More

050: #TruthMoment 11-10-2016
One trip a few months ago, I was looking at my phone and saw the name of a FB crush. We were friends, connected, I tended to LIKE her posts, and check out her profile pics. I realized that in this lifetime, she would NEVER know that I had a crush Read More

049: The Lure of Freedom 11-03-2016
I've heard the word 'FREEDOM' my entire life. For some, it is the ultimate goal to be FREE. Free of our anger, fear, constraints, money troubles, loneliness, etc etc. I had the same thought and have spent my life in pursuit of it. However, rec Read More

048: The Patriarchy with Heather Higgins 10-27-2016
In October 2016, I went to the Integral Center in Boulder to speak at Relationship Leader Summit. I had the pleasure of talking besides 30 or so speakers on various topics around relationship, communication and authenticity. When I was watchin Read More

047: Levels of Engagement 10-13-2016
The definitions of ENGAGEMENT: a formal agreement to get married. an arrangement to do something or go somewhere at a fixed time. the action of engaging or being engaged. a fight or battle between armed forces. Interesting. To me Read More

046: Stop Apologizing 10-06-2016
Everyone, including me, does it.  They say "I'm sorry" Your face skews a bit. You wonder "What are you saying you're sorry for?" Then, you respond "It's alright, no worries" thinking "Why did I just say that" It's the unconscious habit Read More

045: Graceful Breakups with Kelsey Grant 09-29-2016
I mentioned to my friend Connor Beaton that i was looking for some awesome guest hosts for this show and he mentioned his friend Kelsey Grant. We spoke on the phone for just a brief chat and I knew that I was talking with someone who (a) knew the Read More

044: The Effects of Projection 09-22-2016
I wrote a post last week about a sensitive experience i had and the important lesson I learned from it. It was vulnerable to write and important. My life is one of service and on facebook, I choose to open my heart and bare my soul. A colleagu Read More

043: The Pursuit of Purpose 09-15-2016
In honor of next week's ManTalks (ManTalks.com, I will be talking about the concept of PURPOSE and how it affects a person's life. I will be sharing my own journey of first following the well-beaten path to going off the reservation to find my ow Read More

042: The Challenges of Co-Parenting 09-08-2016
At the height of the Landmark Advanced Course in 1999, I announced outloud to 500 people, "I'm ready to be a father". Loud applause. It was obvious I had gotten my money's worth. As my marriage went on, it was obvious that kids weren't really on Read More

041: The Cost of Men's Sexual Shame 09-01-2016
I have 17.5 years of self-development work. I have been an owner of an international company based on female orgasm. I have done extensive internal work including therapy, 12-step work, courses and self-introspection. I have a loving partne Read More

040: Modern Sex Talk with Ryan Thomas 08-25-2016
It was time for some new guests so I reached out to Connor Beaton who does ManTalks in Canada. We had connected last year. When I asked him for some suggestions for some people to invite on the show, Ryan Thomas was the first one he recommended. Read More

039: Navigating Parental Approval 08-19-2016
i once heard this joke that really describes a lot of child-parent relationships: "Parents know how to push all our buttons. They are the onces who installed them" What is the power that the parental units have over our psyches? Why do we s Read More

038: Tales of One Successful Relationship w/ Morgan Mellas 08-11-2016
Bluntly, before I met Morgan, I didn't have much faith in relationships and didn't really believe that they could be successful. In fact, I never thought I would meet a woman who could 'keep up with me'. I still carried trauma from years of b Read More

037: How to Touch Deliberately 08-04-2016
I came up with the concept for this Tuff Love in a moment and then thought - "you can't do that". But, as a teacher of deliberate touch for 10 years and a witness to a WORLD of UN-DELIBERATE touch, I thought it would be a good one to discuss. Read More

036: Authenticity with Kendra Cunov 07-28-2016
au·then·tic·i·ty Noun : real or genuine : not copied or false : true and accurate its a simple word really... authenticity. Just be real, right. Easy? Right? Well.. no, its not so easy. In matter of fact, its f'in hard to be authentic in th Read More

035: Having Integrity 07-21-2016
This week's show was off-script. In other words, it's more real and vulnerable than I expected it to be. We start off with Robert Burns' 1785 poem: > The best-laid schemes o' mice an' men > Gang aft agley The best laid plans of mice and m Read More

034: Surviving and Thriving in Transitions 07-07-2016
I am in the middle of a transformation. Details will be made public soon. The question, really, is how I handle this transition will be a true test of my commitment to being an entrepreneur and a man. As Tony Robbins says, we all want stabilit Read More

033: Breaking The Old Relationship Paradigm w/ Ray Doktor 06-30-2016
My buddy Jason said that i had to meet Ray that we are like-minded souls. We were like two cats when we first met. Sniffing at each other, our ears pinned back, but with a definite kinship. Since then, we've become friends and colleagues. Ray Read More

032: Handling the Heat 06-23-2016
I grew up an overweight kid in the suburbs of Long Island which meant the heat of the hazy and humid summers was something to be feared. I feared how my shirt would cling to my body, bring the cotton t-shirts to conform to the body I was ashamed Read More

031: Be Nice 06-16-2016
A teacher once told me the viewpoint: "Being 'Nice' is telling the truth without anger". I always liked that. Last weekend, Morgan and i had the opportunity to coach a couple who were in a rough spot. They kept going around in the same loop a Read More

030: Stop Creating Problems (Where there none) 06-09-2016
There was an epic fire in my new home of Calabasas, California on Saturday. We could see huge billowing smoke, fire helicopers, planes, fire-trucks over the ridge from our home. I was home cooking dinner waiting for Morgan and the kids to come ho Read More

029: Start with Why for Better Results 06-02-2016
The first time I saw Simon Sinek's presentation "Starts with Why", I was blown away. I saw the wisdom in his words and his eloquent way of explaining a new paradigm of how to approach business and life. It has become the first thing I often discu Read More

028: Pure Education around Gender Identity and Dynamics with Amy Jo Goddard 05-26-2016
I am a heterosexual white male born and raised in an upper middle class neighborhood who really has never wanted for anything in his entire life. When they define "privilege", it would be appropriate to use my life as an example. This has not sto Read More

027: The Conundrum of 'Unconditional Love' 05-19-2016
The songs say: Unconditional Love is what we all strive for. To have it and to receive it. The parents say: We love our children unconditionally. The cynics sa Read More

026: Mother's Day with Netta Kandell 05-05-2016
I once read a "joke" on Facebook that your parents know how to push your buttons because they are the ones who installed them. My mother, Netta Kandell, was born into a different time, raised to abide by certain rules, and be "act" like a w Read More

025: Sexual Polarity with John Wineland 04-28-2016
I once told my good friend John... "I don't believe in polarity". He was quiet about it for a while and then his face turned red and I thought he might pop a blood vessel. We debated about it and teased each other about it and finally i got a clu Read More

024: Stop Stressing Out 04-21-2016
They say Stress is a killer but it also the first step to losing your vision. When we stress, we stop seeing and when we stop seeing we stop performing optimally and then we don't do well and then guess what!! We stress the f*&K out. In this w Read More

023: Empowering Your Chaos 04-14-2016
You know who you are. You call yourself disorganized or messy. You kinda like it and you kinda hate it. It's chaos. However, power comes from taking the inherent force of chaos and harnessing it. Learn how here. Read More

022: The Conspiracy of Cool 04-07-2016
Doesn't everyone just want to be cool? Y'know that one in the crowd that has it all together? Cool under fire? Strong and silent. Never let them see you sweat. We all want to be suave and know what to say and how to say it. We want to be the one Read More

021: Eradicate Obsession with your Ex with Eva Clay 03-31-2016
Welcome to Tuff Love, a weekly podcast, hosted by Robert Kandell. We get together every Thursday at 10am PST to discuss the issues that are impacting our society today in relationship, communication, self-esteem and love. This week is no exceptio Read More

020: Stop F&*king Self-Sabotaging 03-24-2016
After a one-week break, Tuff Love returns with a vengeance with a topic that's near and dear to my heart, Self-Sabotage. We all do it. I do it. And its what's keeping us in this small little box we call comfort. It's maddening when you want so Read More

019: What Men Want 03-10-2016
Last week was rough. The call on "What Women want" was one of my more challenging ones because i felt like i wanted to represent it well. I thought this week's call, "What Men Want", would be easier. I was mistaken. it was just as challenging bec Read More

018: What Women Want 03-03-2016
Hello and welcome to Tuff Love, a weekly all from Venice, California with your host, Robert Kandell. Each week, I pick a topic on something that i see in the world that needs discussing. This one, when i first whispered it out loud, scared the sh Read More

017: The Role of Monogamy in Today's Society with Ken Blackman 02-25-2016
Greetings and Salutations world… My name is Rob Kandell and this is Tuff Love: A Live Group Coaching call which takes place every Thursday at 10am PST live from the lovely city of Venice, California. This is the place where we talk about topics t Read More

016: The Power of Jealousy 02-18-2016
I asked a teacher once about how to handle jealousy. He has been having, uh, dynamic relationships for about 25 years. He looked me straight in the eye and said "Handle jealousy? You CAN'T! You're SCREWED! Go mow the lawn or something". Everyone Read More

015: The MRA Issue (*men's right activism) 02-11-2016
In February 2015, a MRA (men's right activist) named Roosh V tried to organize a set of Meetups across the globe that basically encouraged or at least supported the concept of non-consensual rape. It led to an uproar across the world calling for Read More

014: What Happens when Partner's Don't Agree 02-04-2016
Welcome to Tuff Love, a weekly live call from Venice Beach, California. My name is Rob Kandell and I am your host because I love spreading the tenets of Tuff Love in the world. What is Tuff love? Well, simply, its that thing you really want to sa Read More

013: Craziness around Body Image 01-28-2016
Welcome to Tuff Love, a weekly podcast with your host, Rob Kandell, live from Venice Beach, California. This is your weekly inspiration to live your life EXACTLY the way you want it. We don't mince words here. We speak the truth the way it should Read More

012: The Wisdom In Temper Tantrums 01-21-2016
Hello and welcome to Tuff Love, a group coaching call with your dedicated host, me, Rob Kandell. Every Thursday at 10am PST, live from my home office in lovely Venice, California, we talk about the topics of the day through the filter of Tuff Lov Read More

011: What’s up with the Shame around Desire 01-14-2016
My name is Rob Kandell. Welcome to Tuff Love, my fastest 40 minutes of my week, every week. Why? Cause we talk about the issues that I want to talk about. And I rant, weekly, on things I care about. This one was special to me cause we talk about Read More

009: Ghosting 12-17-2015
Welcome to Tuff Love, a weekly live group coaching call with your host, ME, Rob Kandell. I am excited about this call because I talk about a topic that are near and dear to me – GHOSTING. The urban dictionary defines ghosting as: The act of sudd Read More

008: Patience 12-10-2015
Welcome to Tuff Love, week eight with your loving Host, me, Rob Kandell. This call was recorded in the suburbs of Washington DC after my first redeye flight in a long time. This show is about speaking the truth, the raw truth, and spreading my ow Read More

007: The Tyranny of "I Don't Know" 12-03-2015
Welcome to Tuff Love, week seven, a live call from lovely Venice, California with me Rob Kandell. A man who just plain cares! This week we continue our attempt to spread love and harmony throughout the world with intense, raw truth on topics of Read More

006: Its Not the Circumstance, It's You 11-19-2015
Welcome to Tuff Love, my weekly blast of ecstatic approval from the lovely city of Venice California. Each week, at 10am PST, I do my live show to share the gifts that were bestoyed upon me through 16 years of personal development. There is alway Read More

005: Why does 'Brash, Brilliant and British' Piss People off 11-12-2015
Welcome to Tuff Love, a weekly live coaching call from Venice, California with me. Robert Kandell. Coach, consultant, teacher, lover of communication and always a little disturbed on how people in the world aren’t having their lives exactly the w Read More

004: Gas-lighting in today's world 11-05-2015
Welcome to Tuff Love: A Group coaching call with me, Rob Kandell, your favorite part football-coach, part-drill sergeant and part-loving dad. It is week four, recorded live here in Venice, California. This week’s rant is about this relatively Read More

003: Taking 100% Responsiblity 10-29-2015
Welcome to “Tuff Love: A Live group Coaching Call”, week three, live from Venice, California with me, Rob Kandell, your loving host. This week’s rant is about “Taking Responsibility in your life” I start off with a current event in my life where Read More

002: Self-Approval 10-22-2015
Hi and welcome to the podcast of “Tuff Love: A Group Coaching Call” with me, Rob Kandell. This podcast is recorded live every week at Thursday at 10am PST from Venice California. In my second call, the first recorded, this week’s rant is about Read More

Thursday Log on Info

Replays (look left!) always available

Thursdays 10-10:45am PST

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Phone Access
+1 646 568 7788 (US Toll)
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Meeting ID: 786 145 323
Intl numbers : Click HERE


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