The question of a wife leaving her husband is a complex one, and the Bible offers insights that are often interpreted differently. While the Bible encourages faithfulness and permanence in marriage, it also acknowledges situations where separation or divorce may be necessary. Understanding the biblical perspective requires a careful examination of relevant passages and a consideration of the context in which they were written.
The Foundation of Marriage: Unity and Indissolubility
The Bible presents marriage as a sacred institution ordained by God, emphasizing the unity and indissolubility of the union. In Genesis 2:24, we read, "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." This passage underscores the profound bond of unity and exclusivity intended for marriage.
Jesus reiterates this principle in Matthew 19:5-6, stating, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate." This reinforces the commitment to a lasting union, where God's design for marriage is to be honored.
However, the Bible also acknowledges that circumstances can arise that may necessitate separation or divorce.
Exceptions to Indissolubility: Adultery and Desertion
While the Bible primarily promotes the permanence of marriage, it does outline exceptions where separation or divorce may be considered.
Matthew 5:32 states, "But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery." This passage suggests that adultery is a legitimate ground for divorce.
Matthew 19:9 further clarifies this point, stating, "I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery." This verse reinforces the principle that adultery, defined as sexual infidelity, is the only scriptural justification for divorce.
Additionally, in 1 Corinthians 7:15, Paul addresses situations where an unbelieving spouse chooses to leave the marriage. He advises, "But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases, the brother or sister is not bound. God has called us to peace." This suggests that if an unbelieving spouse chooses to leave the marriage, the believing spouse is not obligated to remain in the relationship.
Beyond Adultery and Desertion: Grounds for Separation
While adultery and desertion are explicitly stated in the Bible as grounds for divorce, there are other circumstances that may warrant separation.
1 Corinthians 7:10-11 states, "To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife." This passage suggests that separation should only be a temporary measure, with the ultimate goal of reconciliation.
1 Corinthians 7:12-14 further emphasizes the importance of reconciliation, stating, "To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy."
These verses suggest that even in cases where a spouse is not a believer, reconciliation is the preferred option. Separation should only be considered as a last resort, and even then, the goal should be to seek reconciliation.
Seeking Wise Counsel: The Role of Church Leaders
When facing challenging situations in marriage, seeking wise counsel from trusted individuals and spiritual leaders is crucial.
Matthew 18:15-17 advises, "If your brother or sister sins against you, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won back your brother or sister. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses. If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector."
Seeking guidance from church leaders or other trusted advisors can provide support, perspective, and direction in navigating complex marital issues.
The Importance of Love and Forgiveness
Throughout the Bible, love and forgiveness are emphasized as essential components of a healthy marriage.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 states, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
Ephesians 4:32 encourages, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
When seeking solutions to marital challenges, embracing love, forgiveness, and reconciliation should be central to the process.
Conclusion: Seeking God's Wisdom and Guidance
The Bible's teachings on marriage offer guidance and principles for navigating the complexities of life together. While the ideal is a lasting, unified union, the Scriptures also acknowledge circumstances that may necessitate separation or divorce. However, even in challenging situations, the Bible emphasizes the importance of love, forgiveness, and seeking God's wisdom through prayer and counsel from trusted individuals. Ultimately, the goal should always be to seek God's will and guidance in every aspect of marriage, striving for reconciliation and healing whenever possible.
